Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Wedgie. Why? Find Out!

I know, I know... why in the world would I write about a wedgie? Because it's one of my favoirte conversations? Because I think it's funny as all hell? Because I live among locker room mentality? (You're getting close). I write because my husband and now my sons are part of the Wedgey Dojo club - http://www.wedgeydojo.com/ (mind you, this is run by adult men and btw, its not their intent to cause harm or bully, it's only to say, "I got ya."). Why, who, how does something like this start and become filled with an unstoppable life force? Hence my question, is this normal?
Sitting at the dinner table tonight with my two sons and hubby, the conversation somehow turns from talking about their school day to the various types of wedgies to then my sons brainstorming to come up with new name wedgies. How my 8 and 6 year old know so much about wedgies at those ages makes me realize all the more there's something different in the male wiring. I did think I should stop this indulgence of wasted airtime. If I had daughters instead, we would never talk about anything so ridiculous! And then I thought how genderly judgemental I am. Would I really want to be sitting around a table all the time talking about feelings, dresses, body fat and boys? (Sorry, if I'm offending anyone by the stereotypical remarks). No, not all the time. But do I really want to stay on this topic? No! And then, I began to appreciate their knowledge and the art of the wedgie. So to enlighten you, as I was, here are a few bits about the wedgie for any of you outright enthusiasts or slightly curious minds. To begin, here's Wikipedia's definition:
A wedgie (also known as a snuggie, grundie, gotch pull, or mervin) is having one's underwear or other garments "wedged" between the buttocks. This can occur naturally, due to tight garments or physical activity; this is referred to as the underwear "riding up". It can also be performed as a prank or as a form of bullying; this is referred to as "giving (a person) a wedgie." Wedgies are commonly featured in popular culture works, either as a form of low comedy or as a behavior representative of bullying. BTW, wedgies have been part of Seinfield and featured in several popular movies.
Wait no more, here are some examples of types of wedgies:
The Melvin is a variant of the wedgie in which the victim's underwear is pulled up from the front.
The atomic wedgie entails hoisting the rear waistband of the receiver's underwear up and over their head.
The hanging wedgie is a variant in which the victim is hung from his underwear, elevated above the ground.
The Meat Locker wedgie (spawned from my 8-year old) is similar to the hanging wedgie, hung from his underwear by a hook.
The elevator pitch is when you give a guy a wedgie in an elevator and then when the doors open you hoist him or should I say pitch him out.
The Texas wedgie is when you give a wedgie and then you drop a match thus giving him a hot butt.
My sons' contributions:
The Nedgie is when you go to grab for the underwear but to the wedger's surprise there is no underwear so instead you wedge the pants. There is a risk if to grab on to the belt loops as it may rip it off.
The Yo Yo wedgie is when you grab the underwear and instead of pulling up to pull back, then you release, and then pull back again, then release and keep repeating.
The Twister is when you grab the underwear and start swinging your arm around in a twisting or circular motion.
Now in case this is read by the wrong person. Here are some defensive moves you should be aware of:
Berlin Wall is when you are the last one to enter into a taxi, you put your briefcase down on a seat, thereby creating a barrier between you and the potential wedger next to you.
The Crab is when you hug the wall sidestepping out of harm's way.
The Dipolmat is when you walk around the room with you hands clasped behind you back, thereby creating an immediate barrier to the underwear waistband.
If you have any wedgie stories, information or want to share how the wedgie is just a normal part of your daily life, please do tell and I'll make sure the board members of the WedgeyDojo hear about it. And remember, be careful. You never know if there's a wedger in the crowd.

1 comment:

  1. just glancing, looks like tmi, though i don't see the pledge wedge, make cause bleeding in severe executions. it's also known as the hell week hurt.